Depression Kills

Quagmire. Mud. Clinging, Sucking, life draining clay that sticks to your skin of your mind. Scrubbing with facts and rational thinking doesn't really work because the mud taints that, too. Colors it and changes it until you can't tell whats shiny and bright and pure from what really is just mud. Anything can be camouflaged in toxic colors. And you're aware that the taint spreads. It effects everything...love, friendship, productivity. pretty soon, mud is all you see. Splashed on the walls of your home, poisoning the sweet, clear blue/grey eyes of the men who love you. Tiny handprints smeared on the windows of your soul...handprints that completely block out the view to the inside. All there is is the guilt of knowing that you caused this. You're poison and you don't even have the strength to walk away from the people you're hurting. Because doing so would be the final act for you and you're not ready to die.